7 Sure-Fire Ways To Kill Your eBay Business

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “the devil is in the details” and that’s also true for your eBay business. Whether you’re just getting started in your eBay business or not, there are many details to take care of and many things to worry about. Some beginners worry that one of them might fall through the cracks. There’s researching, buying products, listing items, answering questions, shipping… and the list goes on.

Stressed? Instead of worrying about all of the things that could go wrong, let me tell you exactly how to kill your eBay business. That should make your life easier, right?

1. Don’t Care About Your Titles. Take some random words and put them in your title. Whatever you do, don’t include the brand name. Make it impossible for people to find your product. Better yet, don’t even bother with using up all 55 characters. Forget about spell check. Oh, and make sure you use words that people never type in like “L@@K” and “WOW”

2. Take Really Bad Pictures. If you are going to take pictures, make them awful. Make your customers work to figure it out. Make sure that if you do take pictures, you obscure the important details. Who cares if your customers can’t tell what it is?

3. Sell Junk. Have no problem listing absolute garbage. Put worthless items up on eBay and hope they sell. Put that flea market special up for $100. Oh and make sure you lie about your item. Put the broken items up on eBay claiming they are top quality. Get some knock-offs and sell them as the real thing. Don’t worry about what your customers think. Let the buyer beware, right?

4. Don’t Care About Your Description. Go ahead, lie about the item. Say it works when it doesn’t. Say it’s in perfect condition when you wouldn’t sell it to your worst enemy. Don’t tell them any measurements or facts about your item. Yell about Nigerian scammers. Use lots of mysterious abbreviations that makes you look like you know what you’re talking about. Give them useless information that nobody cares about.

5. Don’t Talk To Your Buyers. So what if you get an email message. Talking to your customers is a huge waste of time. If your customers are asking questions, they’re probably too dumb to buy the item anyways. Your business should be entirely automatic. Everyone should just buy and ask questions later.

6. Make You Listings Ugly. Who cares if it looks nice. Make your font bright yellow on white. Use tiny font. Add obnoxious animations and music that automatically play. Give everyone a headache when they look at it. OH AND DON’T FORGET TO USE CAPITALS!

7. Have Your Auctions End At Strange Hours. Why don’t you end all your auctions at 4am? You’re sure that everyone will stay up all night until the auction ends. They have nothing better to do anyways. Why bother figuring out a better time to end your auction?